


Can You Stay?

by orphan_account



Category: Love Victor (TV 2020)
Genre: Friendship, Homophobia, M/M, Panic Attacks, Sick Character, Sick Victor Salazar, Vandrew???, Velix??, Vomiting, kinda both lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:35:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24927046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: tw// panic attacks, homophobia and emetophobia.Victor runs into trouble at another Creekwood Party. Just because he's out doesn't mean everyone is accepting. When he goes through a bad encounter, his best friend is there to help him.
Relationships: Victor & Andrew, Victor & Felix, Victor/Felix
Comments: 12
Kudos: 90





	Can You Stay?

**Author's Note:**

> this fandom is super small and idk if this is gonna do well but i hope whoever reads enjoys. this is literally my longest fic haha hope u like it.

It’s only been a little while since Victor Salazar came out to the world and so far he was handling it pretty well, well that is until the night of the next big Creekwood Highschool party. If anyone close to Victor asked him how he felt being out of the closet, he’d say like a breath of fresh air or maybe a weight off of his shoulder, and he always thought it’d feel that way but he was sorely mistaken. 

As per usual Felix was picking him up to go to the party, Pilar was with them as well. It was gonna be a fun night, yes. A fun night. Victor had to remind himself of that for he’d been feeling a little anxious. There was this feeling, a pit feeling in his stomach that didn’t feel good. 

And this feeling didn’t go away when they stepped inside the party, it only grew. As soon as he walked in the door, it felt like all eyes were on him even though they might not have been. Every person he passed seem to have some sort of opinion about him, and none of them seemed good. 

Felix and Pilar hadn’t seemed to notice and quickly left Victor all alone. Surely they didn’t mean it but, they spotted a table of drinks and a bunch of people already playing beer pong and didn’t wanna miss another second of it. 

Victor wasn’t really up for drinking that night, well he never was. He was the designated driver and in charge of making sure Pilar didn’t overdo it, but she was staying at some other girl’s house that night so he didn’t necessarily have to watch her like a hawk. He wished Benji was there, or maybe he could hang around Felix, but he felt too awkward. 

So, he just found a little quiet corner to sit in and relax on his phone. It was actually quite sad to think about his current state, how he didn’t have any other friends to fall back onto. He tried to cut himself some slack, he was still pretty new to this school. But it was in times like this where Victor kinda wished he’d been a little more outgoing. 

After being on his phone in the corner for a little while he was starting to get bored and looked around for at least one person to talk to. Anybody who knew whether it was someone from class, or someone he’s sat next to in an assembly, or even someone he’s smiled at in the bathroom. 

Then, he quickly spotted one of his basketball teammates; a random one who he’d never really spoken to except more than maybe one time. Then he noticed the whole team was practically huddled around together, well minus Andrew who was off doing who knows what. 

“H-hey guys,” Victor said while standing up, walking towards his teammates.   
They all paused their conversation when he started approaching. Nobody really spoke up yet, they all just kinda looked at each other hoping at least one of them said something. 

“Well hey, Victor.” One of the guys said, breaking the tension. “What’s uh, what’s going on with you?” 

Victor shrugged with a small smile. 

“Nothing I guess. Just...hangin.” The guys looked at one another suppressing a laugh. Victor started to feel out of place. The same teammate nodded and spoke again. 

“That’s cool, that’s cool.” He took a sip of his drink and turned back towards his teammates, leaving Victor standing there awkwardly. Victor frowned, but then nodded to himself. 

“Okay well, I’ll just head out-”

“Wait-” Victor stopped in his tracks when another one of his teammates spoke up. “You’re gay right?” 

Victor kind of paused. He was out, he was fine. It’s not like this was secret and he knew that, but why did he feel panicked? It was fine, he was fine. He heard the boys around him start to laugh under their breaths. Everyone so far had been pretty accepting of Victor, but now (in the worst moment possible) he was reminded that that wasn’t always the case. He turned around slowly, trying to force a smile. 

“Um yeah.” He fumbled out. He saw the faces of his teammates, they weren’t all disgusted but they sure as hell weren’t accepting. He tried to laugh off his discomfort, but his nerves began to rattle his body. 

“That’s cool, that’s cool. Don’t worry it’s chill dude.” He reassured Victor, but it didn’t calm him down. “But uh just wondering...have you ever looked at any of us in the lockers rooms.”

His teammates laughed again. 

“What?” Victor breathed out. This was literally his worst nightmare coming to fruition. 

“No don’t take it personally or anything it’s just a question.” The guy said. “I was just wondering if you’ve ever had a crush on any of us.” 

Victor was so speechless, he had not a clue what to say. His heart started thumping, heavily and he had the urge to bite his nails; but if he did it’d look so suspicious. He didn’t like anyone on the team. Just because he was gay and had a bunch of guys around him, it DID NOT mean he had a crush on any of them. He liked Benji. He was kinda with Benji. 

“N-no. No, I didn’t. I don’t- I never..”

“Aw damn, what? You wouldn’t have a crush on any of us?” Another guy said from the back. 

“I don’t-” 

“I mean you’re the only gay guy on our team so we just have to ask.” They said, still laughing. Then, all of a sudden, Andrew appeared out of nowhere. Just great. He spotted Victor and looked a little surprised for some reason.

“What’re we talking about guys.” The basketball team grew quiet and started sipping their drinks again. Andrew looked at them, puzzled, and then towards Victor. Victor looked flushed. “Victor, are you okay?’

No. Of course he wasn’t. He needed to get out, he needed to leave. He picked up his feet and rapidly walked in the other direction, hearing the snickers of his teammates as he walked away. He could’ve sworn one of them called him the f slur. 

Victor didn’t know where to go. He couldn’t sit back in his lame-ass chair because that was in viewing sight of the basketball team. He dashed around the corner to find some other place to relax, any other place. Relax. That’s something Victor felt like he’d never be able to do again. 

Why did he feel like this? What the fuck was happening? Why were the people he could call his friends, or maybe acquaintances for a better word choice, making him feel so uncomfortable? It made him feel sick. 

As he walked around the house, he felt like all eyes were on him again. They were all staring coldly into his eyes, maybe even into his soul trying to decipher what he was. Why he was what he was. 

Or maybe he just looked like shit. Is that why everyone was staring at him? He was starting to sweat, he could feel it. His hands were also shaking, but were they shaking that much so that everyone could see it? Was his entire body shaking? WHY WAS EVERYONE LOOKING AT HIM? 

Or maybe nobody was looking at him at all and it was just figment of his imagination. No, that couldn’t be right. Everyone was looking at him so clearly. He could see it so clearly, yet he didn’t know why. Oh jeez, he felt so dizzy. He needed to sit down, but where. The party got so loud all of a sudden. Where was quiet? He needed quiet. 

Bathroom. He could go to the bathroom. Maybe all the yelling and screaming around him would simply turn into a light muffle if he would just go to the bathroom. Plus he was starting to feel extremely nauseous, the bathroom was just the best place. The best place where he could be alone. 

However, as he searched for the bathroom, he managed to pass Pilar and Felix who were both still playing beer pong. His rapid movement caught Felix’s attention pretty fast but Pilar hadn’t noticed, she was kinda already tipsy. Felix’s happy mood quickly shifted once he got a good glimpse of his friend panicking; he didn’t look good. 

“Hey, guys I’ll be right back,” Felix told the group, still keeping an eye on Victor. He dashed after his best friend, beginning to call his name. “Victor? Victor! Hey Victor!” 

He moved through a crowd full of people trying to catch up to him but it felt like the crowd would never end, and soon he lost his view of him. But he wasn’t going to give up. Victor on the other hand hadn’t noticed Felix was following him. In fact, he didn’t even know he walked past him. 

The first bathroom Victor found was occupied with a boy and a girl profusely making out on the counter. The girl looked and Victor and scoffed as he stood awkwardly in the door. Then, he quickly left apologetically. 

Victor was still in a rush for the bathroom. He started to feel super, duper nauseous now. His head was still buzzing and his body was still shaking. How was this happening? It all occurred so fast. This has never happened to him before. He felt like he was about to fall over and die. 

Then, finally, he made it upstairs and tripped into the closest bathroom; it was vacant, thank god. He shut the door, attempting to lock it quickly (but failing) then stumbled back onto the floor. His back hit the floor pretty bad and his head smashed onto the tub. Shit. He felt like he should be bleeding. 

He couldn’t catch his breath, or feel his heartbeat. He knew he locked the door but he was feeling so jumpy, so irritable he thought someone would bust it down and reveal a crowd of people laughing at him. Or maybe he didn’t lock the door? He couldn’t remember. And shit he felt so nauseous. His stomach was doing that same twisting feeling like when he was about to throw up. He gagged but then shoved it down. No way he was gonna let himself throw up, he was already in enough pain. 

Victor felt so weak he couldn’t stand it. He had not a clue what was going on or why. He couldn’t comprehend it. He was literally fine maybe 5 minutes ago and now he was lying on the floor of the bathroom feeling like he was about to cry, which he was. 

He started to breathe in and out at a slow pace, but he even felt like he was fucking that up and started to breathe faster. It’s like his chest was caving in. Ugh fuck that didn’t help his stomach and he had the urge to gag again. He was sure he was dying. 

Then the tears started to flow uncontrollably. He grabbed his chest, gripping onto his shirt, and started spilling tears out of his eyes. He couldn’t take it anymore. Is this what dying felt like? WAS HE DYING? 

Victor felt like he was about to burst when suddenly, there was a knock at the door. He covered his mouth to stop the sound of his sobs coming out. He took some more deep breaths, which didn’t really help, but gave him enough air to speak. 

“I- I’m...there’s s-someone in h-here...right now…” If he talked anymore he was sure he’d pass out. But then, he heard an unexpected voice. 

“Victor? Buddy is that you? Or am I literally talking to a random person right now?” It was Felix. 

Victor wanted to sigh in relief but he didn’t want Felix to see him in such a vulnerable state. I mean sure Felix has seen him be vulnerable before, but not this bad. But why did Victor care so much? It was just Felix. Just Felix. Wait--no Victor had no time to think about that right now, he was already dealing with enough. 

“Okay, you’ve been quiet for a long time so it’s either Victor or someone else who’s just too uncomfortable to respond which I get,” Felix said. Victor wanted to smile. “I’m not gonna risk it so whoever you are you better give me a heads up before I bust down the door.”

Shit. Shit Shit Shit. Victor had to get himself together first. Ugh, his eyes were puffy and he was sitting on a wet rug with a bruised head that’s been slammed against a tub, and if he moved he might hurl everywhere. 

“I’m counting down, buddy,” Felix said. “Three”

Shit. 

“Two”

Fuck!

“One” 

God damn it. Though Felix built up this big moment where he’d bust down the door, he instead slowly opened. He was probably nervous to see who was actually inside; but alas, it was Victor. Felix sighed at first and dropped his shoulders. 

“Oh okay, it is you.” He said, but then his face and tone changed quickly when he remembered why he was up there in the first place. He got a good look at Victor, he looked worse than he expected.

“Felix I-” Victor choked out but was finding it hard to speak. He started crying again. Felix quickly stepped inside, closing the door. He inched towards Victor, crouching down in front of him. 

“Hey hey hey.” He shushed his friend. “What’s going on. You don’t look so good. Are you okay?” Felix was kinda scared. Victor looked basically green at this point and his cheeks were super flushed. He could feel the heat radiating off of his body. 

Victor didn’t really know how to respond. Should he tell Felix what happened? No, he didn’t wanna go back to that moment. He didn’t really wanna open up either. God, he felt like such a burden. Victor’s voice hitched as he tried to talk. 

“Um.” He started his voice kind of shaking. “I’m just not feeling so good.” He told Felix. 

Of course that wasn’t the full truth and Felix knew that, but he wasn’t gonna pressure Victor into speaking. Felix just accepted the response and nodded. 

“Let’s go home,” Felix suggested, wiping a tear of Victor’s face. His face was super warm. Victor grabbed his hand but didn’t move it. He just let Felix’s hand rest on his cheek. 

“No, you’re having fun and Pilar has her sleepover and I need to make sure that she’s okay and-” Victor started to ramble in between a few sobs that snuck out. 

“Victor.” Felix moved the hand that rested on friends’ face to his chest. “You need to take a breath. You’re not feeling well, you need to go home. Pilar will be fine. I’ll make sure the girls she’s staying with tonight keep her safe. I have their phone numbers if anything happens.” 

At first, Victor hesitated, but then he gave in; he was defeated. Plus, Felix was right, he was feeling awful. He needed his bed. So, he looked at Felix and nodded in agreement. 

After a few minutes of Victor still trying to calm down and getting the courage to leave the bathroom (with the help of Felix’s comforting arm rubs and hugs) the two of them made their way downstairs. Victor wasn’t really feeling that much better at all, but he could breathe now and his crying stopped. Nausea and dizziness hadn’t though and if it wasn’t for Felix holding him up, Victor would’ve fallen down the stairs. 

Felix tried to tell a borderline drunk Pilar the situation which was pretty hopeless so he turned to one of her more sober friends and let them know. Finally, they were nearly out the door when another familiar voice stopped them. It was Andrew. Victor’s heart started to pump and Felix’s looked at him mouthing the words, “remain calm”. 

“Hey, Andrew” Felix said, making a 180 so that both he and Victor were facing Andrew. “How’s it going?”

“Uh fine,” Andrew said, brushing off the introduction. “Are you guys leaving.”

Felix nodded for Victor. 

“Yup we’re on our way.” He told Andrew. Andrew frowned slightly leaving Felix a little confused. Andrew inched closer to Victor. 

“This isn’t because of what the guys were saying earlier is it?” Andrew started. 

Felix glanced at Victor. What guys? He realized that must’ve been what Victor left out. Victor paused, not knowing what to say and Felix could see his eyes watering.   
“Uh um no, no, no. Victor’s just not feeling well tonight so we decided to dip early.” Felix tried to cover for him; he actually did a pretty decent job. 

However, Andrew didn’t believe it. Victor looked so audibly appalled by the events of tonight that there’s no way it was just because he was feeling sick. 

“Okay..” Andrew started. Well, how are you guys gonna get home.” He asked, raising an eyebrow. 

Huh, they hadn’t really thought about that. Victor was the one who got them there, but Felix was too tipsy to get them out. Maybe he could try but he already wasn’t a good driver and it wasn’t safe at all. So, they were kinda stuck. 

“Listen it looks like you guys need a ride. Please, let me take you.”

Felix looked at Victor, obviously something happened tonight that pertained to Andrew and his posse and Victor wasn’t comfortable, but they needed a ride home. Victor hesitated for a moment but, he didn’t really have any other choice so he nodded in agreement. 

Andrew grabbed the keys out of his pocket and led the two boys to his car. Victor sat alone in the back, staring out the window, not making any noise. Felix asked him if he wanted company back there but he said no, so Felix sat in the front. 

The car ride was super quiet. Victor was too shell-shocked to speak and Andrew and Felix didn’t really know each other that well. They had a shaky past with nothing to relate to. But, the silent car ride was probably better for Victor anyways so no one was complaining. 

Eventually, they arrived at Victor and Felix’s apartment. Felix thanked them and Victor gave him a weak smile, he was still too stunned to talk. Andrew accepted the thanks and let them walk away. 

“Oh, by the way, Victor. I’ll figure out how to get your car back here.” Andrew told him. Right, his parents’ car. How was he gonna explain that one? “Feel better.” He said, then he quickly drove off. Felix waved at Andrew, then turned to help Victor up the stares. 

Once they got inside and in the hallway in front of Victor’s apartment, they stopped. 

“I’m sorry about what happened tonight.” Felix started. “And listen I don’t know if you wanna be alone right now or anything...if you do I won’t take it personally.”   
“Can you stay?” Victor asked, not looking at Felix directly but rather staring at his front door. Felix nodded immediately. 

“Yeah. Yeah, I can stay.” He rubbed Victor’s back. They waited for a second, neither of them really knowing why. “Okay let’s go inside, yeah?” 

The door usually remained unlocked since his parents were home, so Felix had no trouble opening it and running into the Salazar parents who’d been conversing on the couch with some wine; the convo looked tense tho. 

“Felix, Victor. Hello boys.” Mrs. Salazar greeted. She glanced at the clock. “You guys are kinda early, yeah? What? I mean the party started around an hour ago, did it not?” 

She asked. Victor wasn’t about to answer, so Felix had to do all the talking. 

“Yeah uh, we just decided to come home early.” Felix tried to explain. “We made sure Pilar was all good. She was having fun with her girlies.” He said in a sing-song tone. 

The Salazar’s nodded. 

“That’s good, that’s good.” Mr. Salazar agreed. “Yeah well were just talking a few things over, we didn’t expect to have you guys home so soon.” It was clear their convo had been super tense. 

An awkward silence washed over the room. Victor was trying not to make eye contact with his parents. 

“Victor you’ve been quiet. How was the party?” 

He finally looked up at his mother who’d be speaking. Her eyes were glossy similar to how his were becoming. He knew they were talking about the divorce, he could just smell it in the room. He hated how his home life was, he despised that his parents were getting a divorce. And to top it all off, they’d been ignoring the fact that he’s gay since he came out.

Anytime it was mentioned, they refused to talk about it. Their relationship had been so bad to the point where Victor felt like maybe they didn’t love him anymore. Perhaps he was thinking irrationally but he couldn’t help but think. Think. Oh shit, his mind was wandering again. 

That sick, sick feeling was starting to grow stronger as he thought about who he was and how everyone felt about it, including his parents. The boys on his team really fucked him over tonight. 

Shit, shit. He was feeling really sick now, that feeling like he was going to throw up; only this time he knew he was actually about to. He felt a gag coming up, he had to get out there. Felix watched as his best friend trembled, his body moving forward without Victor’s knowledge.

Then, Victor dashed towards his room. Or should he go to the bathroom? He wasn’t sure where his feet were taking him, but his room seemed like the closest option. He just needed to get out of his parent’s sight before he hurled all over their floor. 

Victor’s parents stood up from their sitting position when they saw Victor charge in the other direction. Felix just stood still, not knowing what to do. 

“Victor?” They both said at the same time. “Felix, what’s wrong with him?” Mrs. Salazar continued. 

“Yeah, is he drunk?” Mr. Salazar asked. Felix shook his head rapidly. 

“Oh no no no, he’s not. I think something just happened tonight and he’s a little on edge-”

“What do you mean something happened. Felix, what happened at that party?” Mr. Salazar said, his tone sounding rough. 

Felix shrugged hopelessly. 

“I-I wish I could tell you I don’t really know.” He fumbled. “Let me just. I’ll just check on him.” Then Felix ran after Victor, walking into his room and slamming the door, leaving the Salazar’s totally confused. 

When he got inside Victor’s room, he saw him on his knees in front of a small trash can in the corner of Victor’s room. Victor was holding his stomach and squeezing his eyes shut.

“Felix I’m not feeling so good,” Victor said, his throat tight and full of guilt. Felix ran over to him.

“Victor, I know. You’re okay.” He helped Victor take off his jacket and then rubbed his back for comfort.   
For the next few minutes, Victor threw up anything and everything that’d been uncomfortably sitting in the pit of his stomach. It lasted for probably a rough 6 minutes until he stopped. Not once did Felix budge, or try to leave. He stayed, trying to take care of his best friend whom he loved. 

“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” Victor started chanting, still hanging over the trash can. 

“Victor you’re fine,” Felix reassured him. “I’m right here for you. Don’t worry about it.” 

Victor nodded. Finally, he felt temporarily finished and let Felix help him over to his bed where they sat on the edge together. Victor crashed onto Felix’s shoulder. 

“So what happened tonight,” Felix said. Victor kinda froze. “I know you aren’t just sick. You were totally fine when we got there. And I’ve never seen you like that but, I was really scared.” 

Victor frowned, he quickly started to cry again. Felix noticed and started hugging him tightly. 

“No, no, no, no...Victor. I’m sorry I didn’t want you to cry,” Felix explained. He hugged him tighter. “I’m sorry I never should’ve asked.” 

Victor shook his head. 

“It’s okay.” He said in between cries. “It’s not you. I’ll tell you I promise, it just hurts to think about right now.” 

“I fully understand that. You don’t have to tell me anything.” Felix said. “It must’ve sucked though. I think you had a panic attack.” Victor thought for a moment then nodded. He still felt sick to his stomach thinking about it. 

“Thank you for being here tonight,” Victor said genuinely, even though he was still crying. Felix gave a half-smile, slightly getting choked up. 

“Anytime.”

**Author's Note:**

> leave kudos and comments pls they make me happy <3 !! lmk if u want more ?? hah ok bye luvs


End file.
